Tests, Democracy, and Toothbrushes
Today was a great day! I had two tests which I feel very confident about, and I am going to be watching The Sound of Music with some band kids tonight. Also, I got to go to a meeting with a bunch of government students to hear Mitt Romney's son speak and convince us to vote for his father. It was awesome! but there's another story that I haven't told you yet. A story so obscene you may want to turn away. Just kidding!
It's 7:40 in the morning, and I'm sitting in class eating my Pop-tarts and drinking some water. Nobody's mind is working yet, and all the students are kind of grumpy. The professor walks in, and sets down a toothbrush on the desk. "We'll get to that later," he says, "for now, we're talking about sanctification." He then goes on to tell us how we're all set apart for God's personal use, and that when we walk away from God, we become less useful. Nobody's really paying attention, because they're all still half asleep. Then he picks up the toothbrush and says, "You all know what a toothbrush is for," and he starts to brush his teeth, "you use it to clean your teeth, like this. Don't forget to go in circles, right?" *sniff* "woo!" *sniff* *sniff* "Oh man I smell bad!" then he takes the toothbrush out of his mouth, brushes his armpits, then puts it back in his mouth. Everybody's awake. You can hear the disgust floating around the classroom. But he keeps brushing. Then, "Oh man, I stepped in that dog crap again!" Out comes the toothbrush, down to the shoe, back to the mouth. There are audible groans floating around his audience. Then he goes up to a girl, takes out the toothbrush and offers it to her. "That is SO gross!" she says. Then he takes his toothbrush, sets it back down on the desk and says, "Exactly! We're like this toothbrush. We're set apart for a specific purpose, not to be fouled by misuse. We are SANCTIFIED." Then he's like, "You all know how parents ask stupid questions? We walk into the living room, look at the tv, see it's American Idol, then ask 'whatcha watching?' Well I pulled one of those numbers the other day. I walked into the bathroom and I see my son brushing his teeth, so I ask, 'Son, what are you doing?' He looked at me like I'm an idiot, and pointed at his toothbrush. Then I asked him, 'son, what color is your toothbrush?' He takes it out of his mouth and says 'uhm, blue?' and I said, 'no, son. Mine's blue. Yours is red.' And you know those questions you should never ask? Well I asked him one of those, 'Son. How long have you been using my toothbrush?'" At that, everyone was laughing so hard they could barely talk. Thanks BWVW for being interesting!
It's 7:40 in the morning, and I'm sitting in class eating my Pop-tarts and drinking some water. Nobody's mind is working yet, and all the students are kind of grumpy. The professor walks in, and sets down a toothbrush on the desk. "We'll get to that later," he says, "for now, we're talking about sanctification." He then goes on to tell us how we're all set apart for God's personal use, and that when we walk away from God, we become less useful. Nobody's really paying attention, because they're all still half asleep. Then he picks up the toothbrush and says, "You all know what a toothbrush is for," and he starts to brush his teeth, "you use it to clean your teeth, like this. Don't forget to go in circles, right?" *sniff* "woo!" *sniff* *sniff* "Oh man I smell bad!" then he takes the toothbrush out of his mouth, brushes his armpits, then puts it back in his mouth. Everybody's awake. You can hear the disgust floating around the classroom. But he keeps brushing. Then, "Oh man, I stepped in that dog crap again!" Out comes the toothbrush, down to the shoe, back to the mouth. There are audible groans floating around his audience. Then he goes up to a girl, takes out the toothbrush and offers it to her. "That is SO gross!" she says. Then he takes his toothbrush, sets it back down on the desk and says, "Exactly! We're like this toothbrush. We're set apart for a specific purpose, not to be fouled by misuse. We are SANCTIFIED." Then he's like, "You all know how parents ask stupid questions? We walk into the living room, look at the tv, see it's American Idol, then ask 'whatcha watching?' Well I pulled one of those numbers the other day. I walked into the bathroom and I see my son brushing his teeth, so I ask, 'Son, what are you doing?' He looked at me like I'm an idiot, and pointed at his toothbrush. Then I asked him, 'son, what color is your toothbrush?' He takes it out of his mouth and says 'uhm, blue?' and I said, 'no, son. Mine's blue. Yours is red.' And you know those questions you should never ask? Well I asked him one of those, 'Son. How long have you been using my toothbrush?'" At that, everyone was laughing so hard they could barely talk. Thanks BWVW for being interesting!